I actually CANNOT BELIEVE I am writing a post.
You probably have NO idea how I feel right now.
It feels DEAD CRAZY.
I have hundreds of things to say, and yet none. WHY? Because up until today morning, and since ages ago, I have been 100% (why not say, 200% ….even 300%) sure on deleting my blog. And the last thing I ever thought I’d do is actually write a post.
And I actually haven’t gotten over the idea yet. I still might or might not delete. But nevertheless, that’s why I am here. To better ask you guys.
Okay, I’m getting a grip. Very good.
And here’s the deal, since I’m kind of confused, and also because I want to make this clear (and also because I have been writing a lot of exams lately), I am going to bullet it.
- First of all, the title looks like a big joke, asking you if I should leave, when I almost already left. I guess, it should probably say, ” Should I return to the Blogosphere?”. Lol. Never mind though.
- I’m almost 99 percent sure that I’m not even going to harness one real person to read this post because, well, its my fault that I abandoned everything a year ago. Without much notice. [Translation: To that, 1% population, I’m counting on you!!]
- But goodbye posts aren’t my thing, okay?
- I feel like I sound very snarky. The reason? I simply don’t know. 🙂 I guess I’m just not in the perky mood. It could also be because the spacing thing on WordPress app is honestly getting on my nerves. No kidding.
- Getting to the pointtt…*sigh* It doesn’t even seem worth it to ask the question after No.2. But I’m going to anyway.
- I leave the blogosphere.
- I start a new blog.
- Or…I CONTINUE?
I was sticking on to Option No.2. But yesterday, for the first time in so many months I visited my blog. And I expected to see something cringeworthy because that’s how it all had somehow taken shape in my mind.
But all I could ever see was the effort I put into every bit of it. It all just came back okay? I remembered every bit. From the hours I spent customising and then re-customising every tiny detail. The way I used to wake up every morning to see if someone had replied to the post, I put up last night. And the effort it took to get readers. And make friends.
I’m not afraid to own it up. And I could see that. I could also see, that no matter how childish I felt some of the posts were (because obviously, it has been a while since I wrote them), my blog did NOT deserve to get binned.
But then, I’ve become 18 now. And where I live, this is my year of transition from a school girl into much more. And I’m embracing it whole heartedly. And I feel I want to start it new.
At the same time, I don’t want to let go of all the people I knew here. And forget the whole thing. But the fact that most of them have already left doesn’t help.
It’s so funny. How we were all together, as one cool huge community. And suddenly all of us started having second thoughts, and many disappeared. And many are just hanging on, not sure what to do.
I don’t really know. I see people tweeting about their latest posts and feel, “I used to do that too!”. And then again, I feel like “I’m sorry but I may like to read poetry and write sometimes. I think John Green sometimes carves his books using the 26 letters of the alphabet, into masterpieces. I think Shakespeare is legend and Robert Frost is amazing.
But I also like Maths and Newtonian Physics and Heisenberg’s Theory and Blockchains. (Blockchains are very cool, believe it or not :))) I like to read about history’s paradoxes and love doing probability puzzles.”
And the thing is, I hardly find those people here. I only found ONE person during my time here who did Science (Kudos to you, Ash!) and I guess she left years ago. And sometimes that, makes me feel like I’m wasting my time, chatting about bloody emotions while all I want to do is watch Ted-Ed.
I still miss my old friends though. (Wait, what happened with the bullets? Oops.) So if anyone of you is still here, do read this up. (That’s right, Brin. You ask people to read your post after they reach the end. Wow.)
I’m secretly hoping that most of you are just asleep and will spring alive, once I hit the Publish button. Even if you did not know me from before, I would really really appreciate your thoughts. And would certainly love to hear what you think.
Because after all, it’s the Blogosphere. If it’s not YOU guys, who else would I ask? Or where else would I go? :)))
Forever and ever yours