Posted in My Diaries 📔 & Days🥂, Writings, Musings & Thoughts💫

Can We Have a Honest lil’ Chat?🌹

Hey everybody.

Well, *sighs*, the first thought that’s pushing it’s way among all the other things bubbling inside me is, “Wow. What a lame title😂❤”
But well, I do have loads of things to say and I’m fed up of rethinking this. Not just once or twice but over and over, and yet I can’t seem to come to a conclusion.
~I’m feeling quite bitter so please don’t mind the sarcasm, if and when it comes out unintentionally 😅🤷‍♀️.
But if you were looking for an actual “Chat” here – as in a conversation with um… 2 or more people🤔 – let me tell you that this website doesn’t support that option and it’s going to be mainly me who is about to do the talking.🤷‍♀️
Ha. *The penny drops*
(The kind and generous me, ofcourse says you are more than welcome to comment 🤓)

When I was in my hiatus, I badly wanted to come back. I missed everyone. I missed the feeling my blog and the entire internet gave me. I missed being able to express my ideas instantaneously.

But I made a promise. I’m glad I stuck to it because I make about a million resolutions every year and it’s not like I keep every one of them. But that’s not the point now.

The thing is, I was dying for the “big day”. The day I would come back and get back to everything full on. But now that I did come back, something doesn’t feel….right.
I’m still unable to place it. I can’t say I’ve lost the mood because I absolutely want to do this. I want to do more. But there’s this huge undecipherable wall in front of me. Giving me a block.

And I’ve tried hard to push past that. I tried reading everyone’s blogs and while it was fun and gave me a lot of ideas, I couldn’t go further from there. I do have so many ideas, and that’s not what’s preventing me from posting now.

I just seem to have lost all the ability to write at all. I can’t get a word in that feels satisfying. There are multiple drafts with only titles. That’s how far I can go. I’m not able to contribute anything beyond that.

Content, for the sake of having content is meaningless, is it not? Atleast that’s how I feel.


Along this, also comes this fear of losing control over my blog. The reason I couldn’t come to terms with accepting all this, the least of all places, on my own blog, was again the fear that people might shun me. That they might decide not to visit again. I seem to be losing everything in the blink of an eye.

I maintain a “sunshine forever”-ish and happy atmosphere on my blog and that’s not because I’m afraid to appear human, but because this is how cheerful I’d like to be, and want to be. And it helps me. And I know it helps others too.

But I feel like it’s simply been ages since I posted something sensible.

So long that I’ve almost completely decided that I must have lost every capability to write at all, by now. And that’s scary, so the more I think about it, the more I push it away. Not writing also means not pulling out a good vocabulary.
I only go out of words when I’m a bit excited or hyper (which is, most of the time) that I start blabbering (which is also very common😂). But never when I want to simply talk about something. And well, you understand. It’s not nice to listen to someone who doesn’t know her choice of words.

And that’s the thing. I write whatever I feel, or else I’m blank. You can’t force yourself to crack jokes when you’re not feeling funny and anything else comes out as rudely sarcastic😂🤦‍♀️ And naturally I couldn’t come off as the psychopath who raves about chocolate one day and then bites someone’s head with sarcasm and snarkiness the next😂

And so here I am, writing the only thing I can feel. That I’m not able to post anything, not because I couldn’t care less, but because I’m genuinely trying and yet this block seems to be going nowhere. Its disorientating, but it’s fine. I’m not worried. Just confused. And maybe scared.
And added to it comes the fact that this quarantine period is over. And we’re trying to get back from our slumps, which is all exciting yes, but sadly I suppose it also means, many people don’t have the time for a blog anymore. Or are in need of a break.

I respect that. I’m hardly the right one to complain because I’m sure my “break” time is coming too – I haven’t exactly started uni yet but I’m almost there and who knows how things will be. But I do love the community here and the people who regularly visit my blog. And? I was counting on that to make it through the first few days of uni life atleast.
Sometimes it’s easy to take it all for granted and want to “get away from it all”
But to be honest it’s mostly after every break I take, do I realise how much this platform means to me and how lucky I am to have it.

And for once, I decided to push against this insecurity of being judged and instead come to terms with it. If you decided that reading this is something not worth your time, and have already moved on, then that’s fine by me. I have no hold on that.

If you decided to binge read and found this as “Not my problem!🤷‍♀️” or “girl, this is your headache”, its again fine by me. I know it’s my headache and I’m not asking anyone to wave their magical wands on me. (I know you don’t have one, who are we kidding😂😂)

But to all the people who genuinely read whatever I write and give me all your support, I’m forever grateful💕 I swear, its people like you who keep me going.

Thanks for giving me your shoulder. Thanks for holding my back. I’ve never met a better community of people. You have truly touched me beyond anything, and I find it a privilege to have you on my blog.
Hope you know that. 🙂

Author:

Too glam to give a damn 💫

51 thoughts on “Can We Have a Honest lil’ Chat?🌹

  1. Brin, I personally don’t mind if you don’t make sense. I am reading here between the lines. You’re hesitant about being your authentic self. Please don’t, let your freak flag fly! lol
    I don’t have any objective in my writing other than as a creative outlet to share my journey of self-discovery. I do observe statistics and am thrilled when people respond. That’s not why I started doing it. What do you hope to accomplish? That is all. Thank you for sharing. Jeff

    Liked by 5 people

    1. That was one of the most genuine comments I’ve recently received. Tbh I justt realised that you have read “in between” accurately! (Surpirsed) 😮

      Thank you very much🙂🖖 Means quite a lott!

      Liked by 3 people

  2. You write what you want to, when you feel like it. Don’t ever feel like you’ll be judged for what you write. The people who really matter will stick around, and you never know who might find meaning in your words, no matter how your words seem to you.

    Liked by 8 people

  3. I honestly love reading your posts so much, Brin!💖💖 Don’t stop writing what you’re feeling, even if it means that you think people won’t like your posts. The people who really care will always enjoy reading your posts! 😁 I hope you get past your slump soon! 💕

    Liked by 3 people

  4. hey there!!
    okay, first off- that’s just FINE. it doesn’t matter. no one’s gonna judge. we’re all going through difficult things, and this too shall pass. i’m aware it sounds like a bunch of empty words, but i mean it. we’ll always be here. always.
    never hold back. it’s okay to have a bit of a block… it’ll get better, i just know it.
    don’t hesitate, ever!!
    sending hugs and love… (and a truckload of cupcakes)
    ❤ ❤ ❤

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Thank youu a real LOT. Genuine support is all that matters sometimes and I’m so grateful to you for that🥺💕💕 And noo they don’t sound empty! *Hugs back hard* Thanks for the cupcakes aww😂😍 They’re a real mood enhancer 😋 xxxx

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Hey Brin… As per me we should write out whatever we feel inside our heart…we should not be scared anytime to be judged, because inferiority would make us weak, whereas being confident is something alwayd help us to stand out!!! So always write what you feel😃❤️

    Liked by 4 people

    1. aww thanks for that Soni!! 💕💕It really helped me, to have you remind me about confidence because sometimes it very easy to lose that! Thanks again. Your words mean a lot. *hugs*

      Liked by 2 people

  6. Nothing is meaningless Brin, it’s they way you mean it, and what we find meaningful in it and all of us will find a different meaning to it, so we don’t mind if you post those drafts(even the ones with titles)…………

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oh wow!! 😳 I never even thought about posting the Title-Only post drafts, but I suppose it would be different😁 Thank you very much Aanya!💗 I loved what you said about Nothing being actually meaningless… :))))

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Aww Brin!! *hugs* I totally get where you’re coming from. I have been in the exact same writing silence situation you’ve described in this post. It’s so sad when I’ve wanted to write but then everything I sat down to say disappears. I have taken time off, deleted blogs, tried something new, and worked on my blogging voice until it was something I was really comfortable with. I don’t want to settle for anything less – and I wish the same for you. ❤️ I’ve found that time and patience have been my closest companions while finding my blogging direction and I truly hope you pursue blogging in a way that brings you joy and fulfillment! Your feelings are valid and you deserve as much time and space as you need to find what your heart craves. I’m always here if you want to chat or share your thoughts! 💖 I’m an e-mail or text away 😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Gosh you just described it so precisely!! And tbh that was inspiring Maggie- that you didn’t settle. I’d love to follow that and I hope I can💕 I’m so so glad you found your niche, because I absolutely adore your blog and your writing. And your support means quite a LOT to me. Thank you so much truly. That was the most helpful one. * Big Hugs*🤗🙌💕

      Liked by 2 people

      1. aw thank you Brin!! ❤ That means a lot! It took time and a lot of hard work, but I was able to keep blogging in the end and that makes me so happy! You're very welcome ❤ *hugs*

        Liked by 3 people

  8. Awe Brin!! This was a very heartfelt post!!! Also, I totally understand what you felt, though your hiatus was a lot longer than mine. I’m glad you found your passion, and I hope that it stays that way! Keep going!! and write what you feel girl! ❤️

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Aw Brin, we’re truly blessed to have such an optimistic person such as yourself!❤️ Contrary to what so many say or think, nothing is really meaningless and you don’t have to be afraid to be you here. We’ll always be here to read whatever it is that you want to write or feel like writing. I’ve had blocks like this too, I just read thrillers and that gets me creeped out and I start thinking differently leading to writing something, bad or good😂
    Stay safe and don’t let anything overwhelm you 💕

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Ooh D that was incredibly amazing of you!! And yess that so happens to me too😂 especially with books that give alternate perspectives to tiny things😂 Thank you for being a voice of reason.💕🤗 *BIG hugs*

      Liked by 2 people

  10. I understand what you feel! I’ve also had moments when I feel like I’m losing control on my own blog but when I do that, I always go back to my old posts- when I was just starting to blog. I literally write and publish whatever I want and feel and it’s just so good to have so much freedom in my blog. Now when I read it back, it keeps me going! Just write what you want to write- people may or may not like everything you post, but what’s important is how you truly feel. And don’t forget that there are bloggers who will continue to support you no matter what. ❤

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Aahhh thank you so much, Jirah!! Truly❤I’ll be honest and tell you that after reading your comment, I did exactly that- visit my old posts. And I was able to make another post, because it gave me the prompts and the push I needed! 🤗🤩❤

      THANK YOU for that.❤😁 Sorry I wouldn’t reply sooner but I was so excited that it was working💕
      Loads of love to you😁😁❤

      Like

  11. Brin, you’re totally allowed to take a break, come back, feel off, have a sarcastic side, lose control, get scared, and maybe even feel like you’re going crazy or whatever and have no idea what’s going on. it’s not your fault. and if you ever need people to vent to, we’re here, we love you, and we will read whatever you post. ❤ stay safe

    Liked by 3 people

    1. That was the sweetest thing I can hear. 🥺❤ I mean it absolutely when I say this, it is people like you who make this place amazing and keep the community together. Thank you for being such a star😁🤗❤❤
      It was so healing to hear you.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. I’ve been going through a blogging slump lately(oddly enough, only on one of my blogs…), but recently I’ve managed to come out of it. I really just have been posting things I’ve wanted to post. I’ve gotten less interaction, but I don’t care better I’m enjoying what I’m doing. I hope you can get out of your slump!

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Oooh that happens too! It happens to me on specific categories sometimes!😂 But you’re right. We do this for ourselves first, thank you for reminding that Diamond❤❤ I forget that easily. 🙂 * big hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Hi Brin! Firstly, thank you for liking and commenting on my post “Uneasy”. It allowed me to find you and your blog, too. Secondly, sometimes the most important thing to write about is why you can’t write. What’s stopping you? Why are you feeling blocked? The answers will lead you to a better understanding of yourself and bring your unconscious struggles to consciousness. So don’t apologize to anyone or feel like you have to fit the expected requirements of a blogger or a positivity guru. Just be. Just write what comes naturally. At your age, the focus should be on self-discovery, not self-promotion (as so many people tend to forget). Keep writing! I look forward to reading more of your work.😊

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Well I’m glad I stumbled on your blog too! 😁 That was a nice one indeed. :)) And whoa I really think you have a point there. Infact I’m surprised. That was honestly so genuine because I think I could find some answers, after I read your comment and wondered on the “why” part. Thank you. Really. It means a lot. I had to take some time to think about what you said (hence the late reply oops) and those were some wise words.😀 I’m truly grateful for that.😇😇😀 Hoping to see more of your work too. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Hi Brin! Thank you for the follow. I look forward to getting to know you better. I think every single person who blogs, or attempts to write, can relate to what you are going through. There have been times where I did not blog for months or a year even. If I am not in a “good place” I fear that it may trickle down into my writing and I would hate to have people come away from a post feeling a bit blue. That being said, whenever I do post something a little less sunny, the amount of support and understanding from my blogging friends and readers is profound.
    Have peace in your day. ReginaMary

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my you absolutely nailed it there. That was exaactly what I was trying to convey and you said it better! 😯Thank you very much for letting me know I’m not alone.🤗♥♥ I look forward to getting to know you more too! You seem cool. 😁💕

      Like

  15. Believe it or not, Brin, you’re not alone. So many bloggers and writers are struggling to write. If we write something light and fun, some of us feel like we’re ignoring the suffering going on all around us. If we write something about darker feelings, we might feel like we’re adding to the anxiety and gloom. If we write anything at all, it feels indulgent – like we’re pretending that the world isn’t crashing and burning around us. It’s been hard. I don’t have a solution either but to continue to be creative. The world needs it, whatever it looks like.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Oh my, nobody could have said it better. It does feel cheesy sometimes to talk about ‘trivial things’, though I suppose we do need it from time to time. Thank you so much for putting things in perspective for me :)))) My respect for your thoughts only grows everyday. 😀

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I also lack content at times, feel like I will never have content. But I just go easy on myself. Take breaks to fulfill at least three things in my to do. It’s normal, so whenever you feel your body, brain needs a break. Grant it. I love the piece😊

    Liked by 1 person

  17. BRIN YOUR BLOG ISN’T MEANINGLESS AND IT NEVER WILL BEEEE<3 It's made people smile. You've made people smile! And that's amazing! I totally get it. It's like a lot of things aren't working out exactly in my life right now, but that's okay ❤ Things will sort themselves out and when you're older you'll understand how much this phase of life taught us. I'm ALWAYS here to support you, so if you ever want to talk i'm hereeee for youuuu *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OOHH THANKK YOUU *happy tears well up in eyes* Anna.🤗 You’re honestly such a star and I’ve really really missed you.♥♥ Hope you’re alright and hoping to see you back soon!😁
      And aww thank youyouuu, I’ll keep that in mind and do know that you’ve alwayys got me holding your back too! Don’t ever changee💕💕 You’re the best xD

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.